When Fianna Tulip lost her mother, something inside her shifted. The polished, careful version of herself that had worked so hard to stay composed began to fall away. Grief stripped her down to what was honest and human. In that unraveling, she discovered a truth she had never fully lived into: your voice does not need to be perfect or loud to be powerful. It only needs to be real.

What followed was what Fianna calls her “pretty mess” season. It was raw and emotional and often painful, but it was also clarifying. As she shared her experiences with postpartum anxiety, prepartum anxiety, miscarriage, grief, and the long process of rebuilding her sense of self, other women began reaching out to say, “Thank you. I thought I was the only one.” Her vulnerability created connection. Her honesty created permission.

Here are the truths we carried from her story.

1. Your Voice Does Not Need to Be Perfect to Be Powerful

For years, Fianna believed her strength came from composure. She shaped her voice to sound measured and safe, often editing herself to meet expectations. But after losing her mother during the pandemic, she no longer had the capacity for performance. The emotional walls that once protected her fell, and what remained was something softer and far more authentic.

As seen in this CNN OpEd piece about her mother's Covid-19 story, Fiana's voice became an expression of truth rather than presentation. She trusted that the right people would receive her, and they did. Her story reminds us that power does not come from polish. It comes from honesty.

Try this now:
Write one truth you have been afraid to say out loud. You do not need to share it. Naming it for yourself is the real work.

2. The Pretty Mess: Honesty as Healing

Fiana describes her life after loss as “a pretty big mess and a pretty mess.” Grief made everything feel fragile. Anxiety complicated even the simplest moments. Motherhood added its own layers of tenderness and overwhelm. Yet instead of hiding these emotions, she chose to share them — and that honesty gave other women permission to speak too.

Her transparency allowed women to see their own experiences reflected back. When she admitted the days were heavy and the nights were long, others finally felt safe enough to admit the same. Healing became a shared experience rather than a private burden.

Try this now:
Choose one aspect of your life that you have been hiding out of shame. Tell the truth to one safe person, even if it feels vulnerable. Sometimes honesty is the first doorway to relief.

3. Surrender Is Strength

In her grief, Fianna replayed the moments before her mother passed and before she lost her pregnancy. She imagined alternate scenarios where everything turned out differently. She tried to think her way into control, even when there was nothing left to fix.

Eventually, she realized that surrender was not giving up. It was accepting reality without collapsing under it. She said that once she stopped fighting the tide and learned to float, she finally felt peace again. The moment she released her grip was the moment she could breathe.

Try this now:
Write down something you have been trying to control. Under it, write the sentence: “I release what was never mine to manage.”

4. Trust Your Own Voice, Even When It Defies Logic

Fianna met her husband online. Three months later, they were married. It was not the timeline she imagined, but she felt clarity instead of fear. She trusted her intuition, and it led her exactly where she needed to be.

Her story is a reminder that not all decisions come wrapped in logic. Sometimes the right choice feels right before it makes sense on paper. Trusting yourself is an act of courage, especially when others question your path.

Try this now:
Think of a decision you are hesitating on because it does not look “practical.” Ask yourself what feels true rather than what looks safe.

5. Motherhood and Humility

Motherhood softened Fianna in ways she didn’t expect. It taught her to celebrate small wins, speak love aloud, model confidence, and apologize when she was wrong. She realized that her children did not need a perfect mother. They needed a present one.

Fianna now practices modeling the behaviors she hopes her three children will learn someday: self-love, honesty, patience, and pride. She understands that children observe and absorb far more than they are told.

Try this now:
Name one thing you did well today, no matter how small. Say it out loud as if you were speaking to someone you love. Let yourself hear your own grace.

Gentle Close

Fianna’s journey is not a story of perfection. It is a story of truth. The grief, the surrender, the rebuilding, the joy, the love, the loss, the motherhood — all of it exists inside what she calls the “pretty mess.” There is beauty in the becoming, even when it feels impossible to see.

You do not need to hide your middle. You are allowed to be both undone and extraordinary at the same time. Your mess is not a failure. It is the evidence of your becoming.